BOY MEETS GIRL
Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I"m a baby!
Girl: Well what do you think I am? A loaf of bread?
Boy: You could be! How do I know? I'm just born! I"m a baby! I don't even know if I"m under a tree or in in a hospital or what! I'm just so glade to be here!
Girl: (She laughs) Well I'm a baby too!
Boy: Have it your own way! I don't wanna fight about it! Life is too short!
Girl: What are you so upset about?
Boy: I'll level with ya. I"m a little nerves. I don't know if I"m a boy or girl yet.
Girl: Oh that is importent. I think most people know.
Boy: Well I've never been anything before. Let's see. Let me take a little look around here.
Boy: hmmm... Cute feet, Small, Danty. Up I'm a girl. That's it! It's girl time!
Girl: What do you think I am?
Boy: You? Oh! That's easy. Your a boy.
Girl: Gee I don't feel like a boy.
Boy: That's becuase you can't see yourself!
Girl: Why? What do I look like?
Boy: Bald! Your Bald fella! Bald, Bald, Bald. Your Bald as a pingpong ball!
Girl: So
Boy: So. Boys are bald and girls got hair.
Girl: Hmm.Your bald too.
Boy: Your kidding! [ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/boy-meets-girl-lyrics-mel-brooks-and-marlo-thomas.html ]
Girl: No
Boy: Don't look at me!
Girl: Haaa Why?
Boy: A Bald girl! Yakkk! It's discusting!
Girl: Haaa. Hey! Maybe your a boy and I"m a girl!
Boy: Naa naa I'm a girl and your a boy!
Girl: I think your wrong.
Boy: I"m never wrong!
Boy: What do you wanna be when you grow up?
Girl: A Fireman.
Boy: Whata tell ya?!
Girl: How about you?
Boy: A Cocktail waitress! Does that prove anything to ya?!
Girl: Yeah, you must be right.
Boy: I told ya. I'm always right! Your the boy and I'm the girl!
Girl: I guess so.
(Short pause)
Girl: Oh wait! Here comes the nurse to change our diapers.
Boy: About time too! I've never been so unconftable in my life!
Girl: Look at that!!
Boy: What?
Girl: You see there? I am a girl!
Boy: And I'm a boy. I'm a boy!
Girl: You sure are.
Boy: You know when I first realized it?
Girl: Just now.
Boy: Right. we.. what do you want? I"m just a baby!
Girl: So am I. Goo!
Boy: Goo!
HOUSEWORK
You know, there are times when we happen to be
Just sitting there, quietly watching TV,
When the program we're watching will stop for a while
And suddenly someone appears with a smile,
And starts to show us how terribly urgent
It is to buy some brand of detergent,
Or soap or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
To help with the housework.
Now, most of the time it's a lady we see,
Who's doing the housework on TV.
She's cheerfully scouring a skillet or two,
Or she's polishing pots
till they gleam like new,
Or she's scrubbing the tub or she's mopping the floors,
Or she's wiping the stains from the walls and the doors,
Or she's washing the windows, the dishes, the clothes,
Or waxing the furniture till it just glows,
Or cleaning the fridge or the stove or the sink,
With a light-hearted smile, and a friendly wink,
And she's doing her best to make us think
That her soap, or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
Is the best kind of soap, or detergent or cleanser or
cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
That there is in the whole wide world.
And, maybe it is, and maybe it isn't,
And maybe it does what they say it will do,
But I'll tell you one thing I know is true.
The lady we see when we're watching TV,
The lady who smiles as she scours or scrubs or
rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans,
Or whatever she does on our TV screens,
That lady is smiling because she's an actress,
And she's earning money for learning those speeches
That mention those wonderful soaps
and detergents and cleansers and cleaners and powders and pastes and waxes and
bleaches.
So, the very next time you happen to be
Just sitting there quietly watching TV,
And you see some nice lady who smiles
As she scours or scrubs
or rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans,
Remember, nobody smiles doing housework but those ladies you see on TV.
Your mommy hates housework,
Your daddy hates housework,
I hate housework too.
And when you grow up, so will you.
Because even if the soap or cleanser or cleaner or
powder or paste or wax or bleach
That you use is the very best one,
Housework is just no fun.
Children, when you have a house of your own,
Make sure, when there's house work to do,
That you don't have to do it alone.
Little boys, little girls,
when you're big husbands and wives,
If you want all the days of your lives
To seem sunny as summer weather,
Make sure, when there's housework to do,
That you do it together!
Just sitting there, quietly watching TV,
When the program we're watching will stop for a while
And suddenly someone appears with a smile,
And starts to show us how terribly urgent
It is to buy some brand of detergent,
Or soap or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
To help with the housework.
Now, most of the time it's a lady we see,
Who's doing the housework on TV.
She's cheerfully scouring a skillet or two,
Or she's polishing pots
till they gleam like new,
Or she's scrubbing the tub or she's mopping the floors,
Or she's wiping the stains from the walls and the doors,
Or she's washing the windows, the dishes, the clothes,
Or waxing the furniture till it just glows,
Or cleaning the fridge or the stove or the sink,
With a light-hearted smile, and a friendly wink,
And she's doing her best to make us think
That her soap, or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
Is the best kind of soap, or detergent or cleanser or
cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
That there is in the whole wide world.
And, maybe it is, and maybe it isn't,
And maybe it does what they say it will do,
But I'll tell you one thing I know is true.
The lady we see when we're watching TV,
The lady who smiles as she scours or scrubs or
rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans,
Or whatever she does on our TV screens,
That lady is smiling because she's an actress,
And she's earning money for learning those speeches
That mention those wonderful soaps
and detergents and cleansers and cleaners and powders and pastes and waxes and
bleaches.
So, the very next time you happen to be
Just sitting there quietly watching TV,
And you see some nice lady who smiles
As she scours or scrubs
or rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans,
Remember, nobody smiles doing housework but those ladies you see on TV.
Your mommy hates housework,
Your daddy hates housework,
I hate housework too.
And when you grow up, so will you.
Because even if the soap or cleanser or cleaner or
powder or paste or wax or bleach
That you use is the very best one,
Housework is just no fun.
Children, when you have a house of your own,
Make sure, when there's house work to do,
That you don't have to do it alone.
Little boys, little girls,
when you're big husbands and wives,
If you want all the days of your lives
To seem sunny as summer weather,
Make sure, when there's housework to do,
That you do it together!